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It is an overwhelming feeling as a couple and parent’s to see your children growing –up and seeing the fruits of your labor. Maintaining a united and unselfish love for family and as a couple is no easy task. More so raising children as you are raising several personalities and attitudes. Keeping the romance alive while raising the children will depend again on how committed are the couple of their love of each other and family.
How does one keep the romance alive while raising children? First of all to keep your marriage alive you must be spiritual and honest to yourself of your shortcomings and mistakes.
To nurture the romance the couple must maintain their small acts of love towards each other and the children. Show interest on each other’s activities at work, sports, and household chores. This too must be done with the children. Every child is unique and therefore has his own special talent and parent’s duty is to help your child find his own interest in any activities. Don’t be tight on rules and do what you want to do. You may suggest some activities and see what their preference is. You can set a schedule but be flexible. Let your children explore and dream of what they want and encourage them to talk about it. Encourage them to help in the activities in the house, not in a dictating way but in a caring way. Couples must always show affection to each other by holding hands, hugging, kissing, say the word “I love you” in front of the children. This too must be done to the children. Don’t be afraid to hug, kiss, and play with them and say “‘I love you” as often as you can especially when you see they are troubled about something. Show your appreciation to each other by thanking your spouse for the things he has done, and by telling your spouse how important he is to you. Praise your spouse for the well job he has done at work, game or other activity. Thank your children when they have finished helping you in the house. Give them a hug or a kiss. Tell them that they are very important to the both of you. Praise your child for the things he has achieved or done well, and also if he did not do well his effort on doing it was well worth it. Be considerate, understanding, communicate and listen to your spouse. If his moral is low because of something at work hug him and ask questions gently. Make him talk and listen don’t interrupt. Understand and listen well to the situation and see if wants an advice or just for you to listen. When he is done expressing his problem you may suggest some advice. Your tone of voice must be tender and loving.
Be considerate of your spouse feelings. Cook him his special food, dessert or treat him to a movie. Same thing must be practiced with your children. If your child has a problem encourage him to talk about it, listen and understand the situation. Don’t ridicule be considerate and then give your advice. Hug your child while he is talking to you. Have a day out with your child. Say “I am sorry” if you have done something wrong to your spouse. Be careful of saying nasty remarks to your spouse. Don’t make pride get a hold of you. Never jump to conclusions. If you were late in picking up your child from school explain what happened and apologize. Play and laugh together when at table or any place. You can share jokes or play cards or games at home. Share your funny moments at work, home, friends or other activities. Bring the family out to picnics, movies, games or share the same activities and share each other’s funny and sad moments and experiences.
Sex is important for the couple but not in a forceful way. Have escapades together and enjoy the moment. As a couple always communicate in all aspects of sex problem. Don’t make your ego, pride, bitterness and selfishness, rule you. Your marriage will never work and so with your sex life.
To maintain a happy marriage and family everyone in the family must work for it, more so the parents who are the role models of the children. As a couple never compete on the affections of your children and grandchildren. This will create problems and jealousy and division. Encourage family meetings to thresh out problems, family disputes, and misunderstandings. Give each member time to explain their sides, listen and don’t interrupt. Communication is a must to keep the family intact. Make your children and grand children appreciate discipline. This is the only way true character can be achieved and genuine integrity attained. For the couple, and family thank the Lord for each other, never take each other for granted and to help all of you to stand and endure on the strength of your marriage and family life.
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