how to get your wife back

One of the hardest things in the world is when a marriage breaks up. The second hardest thing is when you realize that it was a mistake to not fight harder to save it. If you find that you are in that situation and you want to know how to get your wife back, here are some helpful tactics that have worked for a lot of marriages and may work for yours too.

1. The first thing you have got to do is be an adult. This may sound like silly advice but the truth is that when we are hurting we can do and say some really dumb things. Don't lash out in anger or in pain, get your emotions in check before you try to reach out to your ex.

2. Remind your wife of the person she fell in love with. Go out to the places you used to go and do the things you used to do when the two of you first met. It's very common that when a relationship goes on for a long time, things can get stale, remind her of why she fell in love with you in the first place.

3. Show her, through your actions, that you are willing to make changes. She has no doubt heard it all before and talk is cheap, so now it's time to put your money where your mouth is.

For many, that means doing something different such as be willing to go to a counselor. If you were reluctant to do that before she will see that you are serious if you agree to it now. (Just make sure if you agree to go that you take it seriously and really try, she won't be impressed with more broken and empty promises).

These tips are a good place to start and will show you how to get your wife back. Everyone and every situation is different and only you and your wife know what went wrong, but if you are willing to be open and honest, and use these tips, you have a chance to make things right again.

Relationship Self Help - Can Save Your Relationship

 There are plenty of relationship self help techniques you can use to bring the intimacy back into your relationship. Many people begin to feel that the intimacy levels in their relationships begin to fade over time. They mistakenly believe this means the love is gone, but the truth is that all relationships develop into a pattern of habits and rituals that can often make people feel more like roommates than lovers.

 

Instead of giving up on your relationship, try using some relationship self help techniques to bring the intimacy levels back to where they were when you first met.

 

1. Small Talk

 

Research has shown that couples who engage in regular small talk will experience less arguments and fights throughout their relationship. Connective small talk doesn't mean bombarding your partner with an hour-long diatribe about every single thing you did during the day.

 

Small talk is simply sharing opinions or observations from things you did through your day. It also means learning to avoid mono-syllable responses and actually showing a bit of interest in what each other is saying. Ask questions and respond to your partner with positivity.

 

2. Eye Contact

 

How many times do you really look your partner in the eye when you talk together? As relationships progress, many people tend to look in the direction of their partner's eyes, but they don't make eye contact.

 

When you first met, eye contact would have been high. Humans react to eye contact as being a positive way to build intimacy. As you become more familiar with each other, this decreases over time, which also leads people to believe the intimacy is dying.

 

3. Non-sexual Physical Contact

 

Learning to touch your partner and encouraging them to touch you too in non-sexual ways can help to increase intimacy. Give your partner a hug without expecting it to lead to anything further. Offer your partner a back massage or a foot rub and don't have an ulterior motive. Hold hands when you're out together. These simple forms of physical contact re-establish a level of intimacy and trust in each other that can be very effective relationship self help techniques.

 

4. Appreciation

 

Instead of focusing on the things that annoy you about your partner, try focusing on the things you appreciate about them instead.  There must be things about your partner that attracted you to them originally, so spend some time each day focusing on the positive things and don't waste time concentrating on the annoying traits that everyone has anyway.

 

5. Time Out

 

Far too many couples fall into a pattern of trying to spend all of their time with their partner.  They begin to feel as though their partner is somehow deserting them if they want to spend a little time doing something without their significant other. While it's normal to enjoy each other's company, it's also important to remember that everyone needs a little time out occasionally. 

 

This could be something as simple as going out for a meal or a movie with friends or a coffee with the girls. Research shows that many couples improve their relationships when they display trust and encourage each other to spend a little time doing things they enjoy.

Saving A Relationship

Saving a relationship might seem like a hopeless task for some women. They worry endlessly that their relationship is falling apart and no matter what they do, their partner seems to be pulling further and further away from them. In an effort to pull their relationship back together, many people try to talk to their partner to find out what's wrong or what could be changed, but unfortunately these tactics can sometimes end up driving your partner even further away.

 

There are some psychologically proven principles you can put to good use for you when you're saving a relationship. Most relationships move through several phases as they progress. The initial phases of attraction are based on mutual enjoyment of each others company. Your intimacy levels are high and you both want to spend more and more time with each other.

 

The key to keeping any relationship at the same electrically charged emotional levels they were at when you first met isn't what you'd expect. The key to saving a relationship is attraction.

 

Many women begin trying to analyze every word their partner has said and the tone of his voice while he said it, trying to find a meaning behind why he's pulling away. They try to make sure they spend even more time with him, insist on knowing or finding out what he's doing when he's not with you or even forcing him to stop acting a certain way in an effort to make the relationship feel more stable.

 

In reality, these actions are driving you further apart instead of saving a relationship that was once great fun to be a part of. If you're serious about putting your relationship back on track and keeping it that way, then there are some things you'll need to think about.

 

1. Back to the Beginning

 

Think about what aspect of you your partner fell in love with when you first met. Most men will say they fell in love with a woman who was fun, happy, bubbly, confident, independent and smart. Many women will say they fell in love with a happy, confident, funny, sensitive guy.

 

When you first met, you would have been working hard to make sure your partner enjoyed the time he spent in your company. As you became more familiar with each other, you felt secure that you didn't need to work quite so hard. Ask yourself what's changed about each of you since you first met.

 

2. Attraction

 

As mentioned before, the key to saving a relationship is attraction. When you're attracted to your partner and he's attracted to you, it's natural you both want to spend more time in each other's company.  As you become more familiar with each other, the effort it takes to look good and behave in a fun manner falls away. 

 

Attraction isn't always physically based. Many people are attracted to confidence and independence. Think carefully about what attracted your partner to you originally. This is the key to making your partner fall in love with you all over again.

 

3. Communication

 

Effective communication when you're working on saving a relationship doesn't mean sitting down and talking over all the problems in the relationship for hours at a time. In fact, this could break your relationship even further apart. 

 

You need to remember the type of conversations you had when you first met. Most frequently they would have been happy, light-hearted conversations that made you both feel good and made you both enjoy the time you spent together. It's natural for any human on the planet to avoid situations that make them feel bad, so try to find ways to communicate that make you both remember how much you enjoy each other's company.

I Need Relationship Help

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If you're thinking to yourself, "I think I need relationship help", then you probably do.  When things start to go south in a relationship, it seems that the last person you want to go to for help is also the one you should be talking to the most, your partner. Communication is essential in any relationship and when it breaks down it can sometimes be hard to get back but it's not impossible.

Start by making a list of the things in your relationship that are bothering you. No matter what it is, be honest and don't just make it all about the other person.  Relationships take two to work or not work and if you are feeling bad about your relationship, so is your partner. When you've made your list, invite your partner to discuss the problems you've outlined.

During your talk, keep in mind to never, ever lay blame on the other person. Never start a sentence with, 'YOU' do this or 'YOU' do that. Start your sentences with, 'I FEEL' this and 'I FEEL' that. The only thing laying blame will accomplish is making your partner feel they have to defend themselves, probably start a fight and defeat the whole purpose of trying to improve your relationship. So be open and honest about your concerns but never be hurtful.

Make sure to ask your partner how they feel about the direction your relationship is heading. Find out what they think they need and/or want from you to make your relationship successful and then voice your own concerns, wants and needs.

If talking things through doesn't seem to help, then it may be time to consult an 'I need relationship help' professional. That doesn't mean your mother or your brother or your sister, aunt, uncle or cousin. Keep things between you private, the less input you get from biased sources the easier it will be to resolve the aspects of your relationship that need to be resolved. Families tend to take sides and that will only stoke the fire.

When you've talked about things and feel you both are ready to start seeing a relationship counselor, if you do, make a list (or take the one you've already made) of things to discuss. The relationship counselor will help you both sort things out and keep them in perspective. They know the right questions to ask and what buttons to push to get you thinking and can keep the discussion heading in the right direction.

A relationship counselor will give you exercises, or homework, to teach yourselves the art of communication outside his or her office. Follow what he or she tells you closely. Who knows, you may begin to have so much fun learning how to communicate with each other some of the problems your were facing may just fade away. It's all perception and if your perception changes and you are seeing things from both sides instead of just your own, then maybe you could stop thinking 'I need relationship help'.

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I Need Relationship Help

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If you're thinking to yourself, "I think I need relationship help", then you probably do.  When things start to go south in a relationship, it seems that the last person you want to go to for help is also the one you should be talking to the most, your partner. Communication is essential in any relationship and when it breaks down it can sometimes be hard to get back but it's not impossible.

Start by making a list of the things in your relationship that are bothering you. No matter what it is, be honest and don't just make it all about the other person.  Relationships take two to work or not work and if you are feeling bad about your relationship, so is your partner. When you've made your list, invite your partner to discuss the problems you've outlined.

During your talk, keep in mind to never, ever lay blame on the other person. Never start a sentence with, 'YOU' do this or 'YOU' do that. Start your sentences with, 'I FEEL' this and 'I FEEL' that. The only thing laying blame will accomplish is making your partner feel they have to defend themselves, probably start a fight and defeat the whole purpose of trying to improve your relationship. So be open and honest about your concerns but never be hurtful.

Make sure to ask your partner how they feel about the direction your relationship is heading. Find out what they think they need and/or want from you to make your relationship successful and then voice your own concerns, wants and needs.

If talking things through doesn't seem to help, then it may be time to consult an 'I need relationship help' professional. That doesn't mean your mother or your brother or your sister, aunt, uncle or cousin. Keep things between you private, the less input you get from biased sources the easier it will be to resolve the aspects of your relationship that need to be resolved. Families tend to take sides and that will only stoke the fire.

When you've talked about things and feel you both are ready to start seeing a relationship counselor, if you do, make a list (or take the one you've already made) of things to discuss. The relationship counselor will help you both sort things out and keep them in perspective. They know the right questions to ask and what buttons to push to get you thinking and can keep the discussion heading in the right direction.

A relationship counselor will give you exercises, or homework, to teach yourselves the art of communication outside his or her office. Follow what he or she tells you closely. Who knows, you may begin to have so much fun learning how to communicate with each other some of the problems your were facing may just fade away. It's all perception and if your perception changes and you are seeing things from both sides instead of just your own, then maybe you could stop thinking 'I need relationship help'.

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SETTING THE MOOD; PLACES AND SURPRISES FOR ROMANCE

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It is romance night and you would like to set the mood for a romantic evening or a fantastic get away. Try to remember when the both of you enjoyed the best romance in your marriage and try to include it in your plan.

Some Suggestions of how set the mood for a Romantic day or Evening:

It would be nice to prepare a good delicious aphrodisiac dinner and the bedroom full of sensuous aromas. Decorate the house including the bedroom with beautiful flowers as well as plants. Plan an aphrodisiac dinner with champagne and for dessert have chocolates and strawberries accompanied with soft romantic music. Lighten up the place and room with aromatic sensuous candles. Have ready your most sensuous lingerie. 

If both of you love the country side go and plan a night of love in front of a fire place. Have a romantic dinner in front of the fire place. Spread out a beautiful soft blanket with plenty of soft throw pillows and play soft music. Have your bottle of wine ready and have an intoxicating and amorous evening.

You also can plan a night of interlude in your own private garden. Fix the garden with beautiful flowers and plants. Lighten up the garden with small torches placed around the garden. Spread out a soft beautiful blanket on the grass and place soft throw pillows around. Play soft music and have your aphrodisiac dinner with champagne in the garden.

A suggestion of an aphrodisiac dinner:

Have oysters; steaks grilled and top with plenty roasted garlic and have a horseradish sauce on the side. Serve herbed bread.  For Salad have an arugula salad with boiled shrimps; croutons and grapes and toss with balsamic vinegar dressing. Don’t forget the champagne and for dessert have strawberries; grapes; raspberries with melted chocolate and nuts. Or have a seductive brownie bar.

One can plan for a romantic weekend or simply an overnight stay in a hotel; inn; resort; or beach. Plan ahead and check out places which both of you enjoy going and that are within your budget.  For more exciting new places one can check out the internet for a breathtaking interlude. You may bring sensuous oils with you, candles and seductive lingerie. If you plan to stay in a hotel try to bring scented candles and put them around the room and bathroom and sprinkle the bed with rose petals.

It would be very thrilling to receive a surprise gift from the person you love.  Some suggestions of gifts: Flowers; perfume; cologne; jewelry; handbag; dress; if she loves the kitchen a kitchen utensil; a cell phone; pen or anything that can fit your budget. It is the thought that counts.

The spark of love and must always burn within the couple. It should never die out. Have constant communication with each other – work, laugh, and play together. Trials may come but that is part of life. One must be prepared to know how to handle the situation with open communication and compromise.

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Overcoming A Relationship Break Up

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There are many ways to handle overcoming a relationship break up. One way is to write your thoughts and feelings down in a journal. Next time you go to the store buy yourself a nice notebook. Put it next to your bed on your night table with a pen. Each night when you go to bed spend a minute or two writing down how you felt about one aspect of your relationship. This is a great way to vent your feelings and keep your emotions under control. Writing things in a journal will help you heal.

Another way is to get out with your best friend or group of friends for some fun. Go sing some karaoke in your favorite neighborhood bar. Don't stay home alone. All you'll end up doing is focusing on what could have been instead of what is and what will be. So get out and try to have some fun with friends.

How about renting a couple of good comedy flicks to help you take your mind off all that pain you are feeling? Good idea, huh? Invite that Best Friend Forever over for a night of popcorn and laughs. You will definitely feel better in the morning because it is a well known fact that if you can laugh, whatever it is that's bothering you is really not that bad.

Dance your pain away. Seriously, turn on the radio, turn it up and just dance, dance, dance. Soon you will be laughing and having the time of your life and will forget all about, who again? See? It's working already. Pretty soon you will start to think that overcoming a relationship break up is a piece of cake.

Change your routine, drive a different way to work, go to a museum, go shopping and buy yourself something new, read a scary novel (stay away from the romance novels though they tend to make things worse for the reader). Do whatever it takes to keep your mind off whatsher/whatshisname. Heck, you are probably better off without them anyway. It may not feel like it now but, who knows, maybe there is someone better waiting for you just around the next corner. You will never know if you keep yourself holed up in your home with the blinds down and the curtains drawn.

Basically what you need to do here is fake it till you make it. Smile when you don't feel like it and the next thing you know you catch yourself smiling for no apparent reason. Sometimes that's just what you have to do to get through the day. The pain you feel now will not last forever and in a couple of months when you meet someone new and better for you, you will even wonder why you made such a big deal over this one. Breaking up can feel like the end of the world but overcoming a relationship break up can show you a whole brand new one.

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MAKING EVERY MOMENT A GOOD MEMORY IN ANY RELATIONSHIP

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Life and love are gifts given to us and they must be fully appreciated. Funny enough, one of the easiest ways to appreciate such wonder things is by giving it away. Oftentimes the meaning of life is taken for granted without the person’s knowledge or consciousness. With life is love, these two cannot be separated as without love there is no life within the person. He will be arrogant; selfish; and bitter.

Everyone has memories of childhood whether it is good or bad. Some try to forget their childhood because of some abuse in the family. This kind of memory must be assisted with counseling and at the same time the person abused must work to see it in another light in order to help other people abused and how to deal with that memory. People sometimes try to forget bad memories but forgetting is not as easy as it sounds. That bad memory will always be imbedded in your sub-consciousness. One way to release it is to seek counseling and make that opportunity of helping others with the same problem. Help others with advocacy. You will be a better and more successful person. The anger within you will be released and you will find peace.  You learn to live through your own tragedies and mistakes. Memories are always imbedded in the sub-consciousness of a person.

Memories of love must be always treasured.  These are the things that will keep the person alive and young at heart. In a person’s younger years he might make a diary of the events that happened on a daily basis or in his life. This practice is good to do because it can help the person to internalize and improve one’s perception of life; his character will be enhanced. Such journals also become cherished keepsakes for your children and grandchildren, as they may remember who they thought you were and perhaps learn more about who you really are and they may learn from your life journey.  

In any relationship, whether it may be childhood; teenage life; courtship; and marriage, one must treasure every moment of events in one’s life. Life is short and people don’t seem to care or appreciate to take time off to be thankful for the good moments and the not so good moments.  Everyone learns a lesson in any moment, whether it is a good or bad memory.  One must search for healing of bad memories in marriage as this will affect not only you but also the children.  An example of this is the abusive husband beating the mother in view of the children. This issue must be brought to a counselor right away so that everyone affected can be guided properly in ways of dealing with this turmoil. It should not be kept from family members as this will cause further problems with the people concerned. These memories must be seen as a challenge to help each other and other people with the same situation. Help each other to solve the problem. Always seek guidance.

Are you making use of all the opportunities life offers you? Each of us has been given a free will to make right choices and decisions. The bad memory is a stepping stone to improvement of oneself; it’s an opportunity to learn from it and help others with the same situation. Make the most of your relationship by giving love freely. Then use memories of past situations that were traumatic in some way to help others. The more love you give, the more you will receive!

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How To Mend A Broken Relationship

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There are countless reasons why you would need to mend a broken relationship. The first thing to do is to name them. Is it money? Not spending enough time together? Responsibilities getting in the way? Whatever the problems are they can be overcome.

If things have not totally gotten out of control (and even if they have) you can attempt to fix them by opening the lines of communication. Too often, when things start to go bad, people in a relationship shut down and withdraw into themselves. What you should do is grab your partner and say enough is enough, let's have this out right now. We need to work together to resolve these issues.

If the problem is money, try to either find ways to make more or find ways to spend less. One or both of you go get a part-time job to bring in more cash or learn how to spend less by cutting coupons or buying the store brands which are usually as good as the name brands and cost a lot less. Turn a hobby into a money-making machine.

If you don't spend enough quality time together then start having a date night once a week or once a month. Put a babysitter on retainer and use them frequently. Go see a movie and have dinner, go see a play, have a picnic in the park, or just go for a walk after dinner. Do something to keep in physical contact with each other during your "date". Holding hands will help mend a broken relationship.

I once knew a couple who were married for 73 years, had thirteen children and countless grand and great-grand children. They were so cute together, and they held hands everywhere they went. Physical contact is very important in keeping a relationship healthy.

How about those responsibilities? If they are too much for one of you to handle then ask the other for help. As a couple sometimes one of you just expects the other to know what you need or are thinking. If you think about it that is rather foolish, right? I know I can't read anybody's mind, can you? So lower your expectations and ask for help. Explain things and show them how to do what you need done if they don't know how. Work together to divide responsibilities evenly or if money is not a problem, hire someone to do whatever it is that you need done.

Make some time and go have some fun together. Go fly a kite, go bowling, go to the go-cart track, play miniature golf, find a way to laugh together. Be creative. Play, laugh and be happy - together. Remember how it was when you were all brand new and just falling in love? You spent every single moment together and everything was fresh and fun. You laughed all the time. Find your way back there and you'll also find that's the way to mend a broken relationship.

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Hurting Over A Breakup Relationship Help

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If you are hurting over a breakup relationship help is not as hard to find as you might think. It starts with you. If you feel you have the strength to tackle the way you feel by yourself then do so. Step back and assess your situation. Ask yourself how you really feel and be honest with yourself. Breaking up with someone is tough and you need all the strength you can muster to get through it.

First, and this is very important, let yourself feel the pain. Go ahead and wallow in it for a while. But only for a while. You need this very important step. Stay in bed for a day and cry your eyes out. Go get that pint of ice cream (or gallon) and sit in front of the TV and eat it til you can't eat anymore. Punch a pillow. Throw marshmallows as hard as you can into the sink. Do whatever you need to do to constructively deal with your pain. Believe this or not doing this is actually setting the foundation for the next weeks and months to come as you settle back into single life.

Dealing with your pain the right way can be empowering. That that doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I know you have heard that saying and it is true. Like I said, if you are hurting over a breakup relationship help yourself. You will come out the other side a better, more confident person.

Now, what do you do after your day of wallowing? Wallow no more! Onward and upward! You are probably better off without the one you broke up with anyway. Seriously, take a good long look at your life and start to make some plans. Having a goal in mind will help keep you focused. Make a list of things you want to do. Take a vacation, go back to school, reconnect with old friends or heck, clean out that closet you have been meaning to get to. Organize your thoughts and your life and the rest will follow.

I believe, like many people do, that everything happens for a reason. Something good always come out of a bad situation. You just have to wait for it. Don't go looking for it, it will come to you. I also believe that everything we go through is a learning experience and you take what you learn from one experience to the next. Some call this learning from our mistakes. I like to think it's a little more spiritual than that. So you just went through a breakup, that person wasn't 'the one' anyway and you knew it from the start. So you take what you learned from that experience and tuck it away. Now you have that information to fall back on when your 'the one' makes their way into your life.

Once again, take a day and wallow then make a plan, set some goals, and organize things. Then you won't need any more hurting over a breakup relationship help.

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IMPORTANCE OF SPIRITUALITY IN LIFE AND ANY RELATIONSHIP

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Whether you believe in God, Buddha, or even a Spiritual Guide or Guardian Angel, it’s hard to deny that a Higher Power exists in this world. It seems that evidence is everywhere. It can be seen in the beauty of nature and in the creation of a human being. It is all a mystery of beauty. A precious gift has been given to all men, the human brain to use and free will to make powerful choices. It is the choices of men that can make the human brain be energized with love; compassion; self awareness; honesty or inflated with pride; anger; bitterness; envy; arrogance and hatred. A person’s free will is very powerful it can make him successful to produce a good character or a person with power but corrupt or a person who is full of pride; a loner; and has no meaning to his own self. 

Life is made by the choices one makes. A person’s choice reflects his inner self, his attitudes, values and thoughts in his life. Everyone has choices in life to make to reach a goal. What are your choices in life? Make a list of your choices and then choose the important one’s that will redefine your true character. Choices should be discussed with family member or a trusted friend. This will bring you to a better decision of your own choice.  Life has a purpose and it does not always come out the way a person wishes. One must remember that every choice made has a consequence attached to it.  Now a day’s choices can be presented to you in different forms alluring to your ego but can destroy your dignity. One must always discern the right choice and seek spiritual guidance.

Relationships are choices that people make. One cannot blame another for wrong choices. You made that choice and decision - take ownership of that circumstance or situation and learn from it. One can find freedom and peace if one can take ownership of life’s situations and circumstances of his own choices.

Some people turn to religion only when they are faced with problems in their lives. Solutions to the problem may not come the way you want it but they will come – and in hindsight we can usually make sense of why things turned out the way they did. In relationships and in life, take ownership of your actions and your choices and you will find peace within you.

When a couple gets married in church they ask for blessings to guide them in their lives. The blessings and guidance continue throughout the marriage, in good times and in trials. In marriage the couple makes choices and must discern properly of the choices made to make their marriage last and unite the family. They too must be the true examples to their children.

Whether you consider yourself religious or spiritual, it is important to discuss your views on this important matter with a significant other. The reality is that for those of us that are spiritual or religious, it impacts our daily life in a positive way and in most cases, we want to share that enrichment with the ones we love.

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How To Succeed With Your Healthy Eating Weight Loss Plan

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If you need to lose weight, you’ve probably looked at some healthy eating weight loss diets and groaned in disappointment each time.  You’ve looked at diets that are supposed to be good for you while letting you lose weight.  Some claim you can eat things like fatty cheeseburgers and even fatty milkshakes (made with sugar substitutes).  While other diets claim that you can eat whatever you want as long as you keep your fat intake low. But chances are that they all restrict or forbid something you really enjoy, and you’re not looking forward to going without that favorite food.

What some people overlook is that you don’t necessarily have to follow a healthy eating weight loss diet that someone else claims is the best.  You can figure out how to eat on your own. The first step is to look at how you’ve been eating.  Obviously, if you need to lose weight you’ve been following a diet that provides you with too many calories.  If your diet is healthy overall but you’ve been eating too many calories, then you might not even need to change the way you eat much at all.  Increasing your daily exercise could be enough to help you lose weight.

If your diet needs an adjustment to become a healthy eating weight loss plan, though, you should look at the parts of your diet that seem unhealthy and adjust them. If you make too big a change from the way you like to eat, you’re setting yourself up to be unhappy with your new diet plan.  Instead, try to incorporate the things you enjoy into your new plan.

Your healthy eating weight loss plan might not be able to include doughnuts 3 or 4 times a week like you’ve been eating.  But the occasional doughnut as a treat might be acceptable if it fits within your allotted calories for that day.  You might be able to have a substitution for a doughnut a couple of times a week, though.  A whole grain bagel with fruit-flavored low-fat cream cheese, for instance, is a sweet treat that you could enjoy instead of a doughnut.  It might give you the same satisfaction while remaining healthier and truer to your healthy eating weight loss plan.

If you eat a lot of sweets like chocolate, you can still enjoy them in moderation.  Dark chocolate can be part of a healthy eating weight loss plan.  Dark chocolate contains more antioxidants that many fruits and vegetables.  So try dipping some of your favorite fruits like bananas, pineapple or strawberries in some high-quality melted dark chocolate for a powerful anti-oxidant punch that should satisfy your sweet tooth and keep you on your diet.

Almost any unhealthy treats you’re use to having can be substituted with a healthier food that gives you at least some of the satisfaction of the unhealthy treat.  Mashed cauliflower instead of buttery mashed potatoes, thin-crust vegetable pizza instead of take-out and other tricks can make your healthy eating weight loss plan more enjoyable.

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Do I Need Relationship Help

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If you are asking yourself and anybody else who will listen, "Do I need relationship help?", then my response would be, if you are asking the question the answer is probably yes. No relationship is perfect and neither are the two individuals trying to make a go of it. Each one involved brings their own unique set of qualities to a relationship, good and bad.

Since we are all products of how we were raised, if your parents had a good relationship, respected each other, listened to one another and didn't fight about everything under the sun then you were shown your entire young life how to have a good relationship. Your parents gave you the tools you need to have a successful, loving relationship and you probably didn't even realize it.

On the other hand, if your parents didn't have a good relationship, disrespected each other, ignored each other and fought about anything and everything, they gave you a whole different set of tools. If this is the case, it is understandable why you are asking, "Do I need relationship help?"

If you do find yourself asking this question, good for you, this is a positive step believe it or not. It means you are willing to do whatever it takes to improve on yourself and become a true partner in your relationship. If you and your significant other are on the same page then you can both grow together and no one gets left behind.

So, where do you find the information you need to improve a relationship? There are several places you can look.

1. Self-help books - a good resource for insight into what it takes to have a good relationship. You don't get any feedback from a book so there will be some trial and error to find what works for your relationship and what doesn't.

2. Counseling - a third party to listen and offer advice when the problems seem too big to handle on your own. You will get plenty of feedback here so be prepared.

3. Your parents - They can give you a wealth of information on how they managed to stay married for as long as they have. Just remember, everyone is different and so is every situation. Don't try to be your parents, be yourself. Don't get too specific, try to talk in general terms when involving your parents, they worry about you enough.

4. Your significant other - Yes, yes and yes! Who else would you talk to about YOUR relationship? You would think this would be a no-brainer but you would be surprised at how may people start to see their partner as their enemy, instead of their ally, when things aren't going well.

So if you are insightful enough to ask, "Do I need relationship help?" then also be open to trying every single suggestion or recommendation given to you to help improve your relationship. It will definitely be worth all the hard work.

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I Need Love Help

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You know what I do when I need love help? I think about the person I'm in love with and then list the reasons why I am in love with them. I think about the kinds of things they bring to my life like joy, passion, and romance, just to name of few. I also think about what I can do to make them happy. There is nothing better in the world than to be able to make someone else smile and if you are already in love with that person then that makes it even better.

Love is a wonderful emotion isn't it? When your are in love with someone, it's as if you can do anything, there is nothing you are not capable of. You are on Cloud 9 and everything they do is wonderful, they can do no wrong.

There are so many different ways to express your love; cards, flowers, love letters, an intimate candlelit dinner under the stars, the possibilities are endless. My favorite way to show someone I love them is the candlelit dinner. To me, taking the time and preparing a perfect meal then presenting it in the perfect setting says a lot to the person you have prepared it for. It makes them feel special and loved.

When I need love help, I just start with a little planning. I find a recipe for something I know they like and match it with a good wine. Set the perfect table with a table cloth, cloth napkins and candles as the centerpiece. The meal is served on fine china and I have soft, romantic music playing. It's as if we are the only two people in the world. Nice.

I do like to write love letters and poems also. Love letter writing is a dying art, I think letter writing in general is a dying art due to the invention of the internet and cell phones with email, texting and whatever.

It's a shame that those first feelings of love you experience don't last, life always seems to get in the way. Though, now that I think about it, I suppose those first feelings are replaced with others, like security or contentment. Some people might think that being content in a relationship is a bit boring but if you are with the right person contentment is a plus.

It means you are comfortable. You don't have to try to impress the other person or try to win them over. You already have and they have accepted you for who you are, unconditionally. What more could you ask for?

Here is a good test, if you are in a relationship and you can sit in the same room, in silence, for more than 10 minutes without feeling like you should say something, that probably means you are content in that relationship and there is nothing wrong with that.

So on occasion, if you need love help like I need love help, just try some of these suggestions and I bet you'll find you'll be content in no time.

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How To Stop A Relationship Breakup

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Learning how to stop a relationship breakup is not as difficult as it may seem. All it takes is learning how to communicate with your spouse on a different level. Remember what it was like when you first got together? You talked about anything and everything and agreed on most things too. What happened?

Well, most likely, somewhere along the line one of you got your feelings hurt by what the other one said or did and it did not get addressed. Little resentments then started to creep their way in and got bigger and bigger. If one of you is stuck at home most days and the other one gets to go out and play all the time, more resentments build. One blames the other for their unhappiness and soon you find yourselves caught in a tailspin just waiting to crash and burn.

If you really don't want that to happen then you need to figure out how to stop a relationship breakup before it gets too out of control and all of a sudden divorce court is looming in front of you. How do you do that?

The first step, both of you, stop being so selfish! This is supposed to be a partnership not one pitted against the other. It's not about what each of you as individuals get out of this relationship, it's about what the two of you can accomplish together. Take stock of what you have built together. When all the pettiness gets swept out of the way and it comes right down to brass tacks, do you still love each other? Are you still 'in love' with each other?

If the answer is yes then just start treating each other better. If you have done something wrong, fix it. Say, "I'm sorry", and mean it. A little sorry goes a long way to fixing hurt feelings and whittling away at those little resentments that have built up for so long.

TALK to each other, not at each other. ASK how the other is doing, how their day was. LISTEN to each other, more importantly, HEAR each other. CARE about what is important to them, CARE about how they feel. Ask if there is anything you can do to take a little stress off of them. They will appreciate it and when it comes to your turn they will remember what you did for them and then do it for you. This is called GIVE and TAKE. When one of you does all the giving and the other does all the taking once again, those little resentments build and build.

It will take some practice, human beings are inherently selfish, and it takes some work to be the partner you should be when you are in a committed relationship. A few simple changes in how you approach your spouse or significant other will aid you in learning how to stop a relationship breakup.

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How To Reconcile A Broken Relationship

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During conversation with friends, someone asks how to reconcile a broken relationship. It gets you thinking about your last relationship and how you were certain you had found the love of your life but you eventually messed up anyway and she divorced you. Now you are thinking you want to try to get her back.

Since we all know you can't change anybody but yourself, the best way to go about that is to find a way to start making the changes you need to make in yourself. Don't think it will happen overnight because it won't. Some people are capable of making the life changes they need to make on their own but I recommend starting off by talking to a professional counselor and maybe joining a support group depending on what the problem was in your relationship.

If you are going to make lasting changes you need to find the training to do it. Just like going to college and earning your degree then training for your first job. You didn't know it before you learned it or trained for it. Making a relationship last is not any different. Life is a learning process. We are all works in progress. We are not born just knowing everything we need to know. Especially not knowing how to reconcile a broken relationship.

When your extensive training is complete, however long it takes, then you can approach your ex and simply ask to speak to her over coffee. Don't make any drastic moves at this point. You need to show her that you have changed and she has to learn to trust you again. This will all take time, probably several months at least. She is not going to jump right back into a relationship with someone who hurt her badly.

Say she agrees to have coffee with you, now what? Just talk to her. Keep the conversation light and don't get into anything heavy right off the bat. You will scare her off. Make her wonder what you are up to, keep her guessing. You want her to keep thinking about you after coffee. Don't tell her yet what you have been doing to improve yourself, show her. Let her start to see the new you. When she sees the changes you have made for herself she may even ask if you have been seeing a counselor. Now is the time you can tell her all about the improvements you have made and why.

If she is receptive to giving you and the relationship a second chance, ask her out on a real date and treat her like the love of your life you always thought she was. Also, sooner rather than later, sincerely apologize for any pain you caused her the first time around. If she forgives you, you know all your hard work was worth it and that she understands and trusts that you figured out how to reconcile a broken relationship.

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How To Reverse A Break Up

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If you are wondering how to reverse a break up, I've got some fairly simple suggestions for you. Obviously, I can't promise you anything but this is as good a place to start as any. If you let things get so bad that your SO thought a break up was his or her only option, here is where you need to start when trying to make it all better.

1. Accept Responsibility - Yup, and this may be hard for you but you need to accept responsibility for whatever part you played in the break up. This is the biggest and best thing you can do to try to get your relationship back on track. If your ex will listen, explain that you know what happened and understand that they were hurt by it. Tell them you will do whatever it takes to not let anything like that happen again. Admit you had a moment of weakness and didn't take their feelings or the possible consequences into consideration.

2. Apologize - With as much sincerity as you can come up with. Really mean it. Saying you are sorry for something you have done wrong is important and you would be surprised how healing it can be for both of you. It will also show your ex that now, at least, you are paying attention to how and what he or she are feeling. Apologizing may start to put you back into his or her good graces.

3. Get Help - No one is perfect and we all could use a little guidance from time to time. A good relationship counselor can show you ways on how to reverse a break up. It would be best to go to a relationship counselor together but if your ex won't go with you, by yourself. Once your ex sees the positive changes you are making, he or she might just agree to give it a shot.

4. Talk - Don't argue and don't talk at each other. Arguing will not accomplish anything and will only leave you both feeling worse about your situation. So stay calm and each of you take as much time as you need and just get everything out. Take notes if you have to. Then start to talk through each issue until you work things out and you both understand where each other is coming from.

It is said that trust is the basis of every good relationship. When you are in a committed relationship you give your trust to that particular person and hope he or she will cherish it and hold it dear to their heart. When that trust is broken the one who trusted you feels betrayed and now vulnerable to the world because not only do they not trust you but they cannot trust themselves anymore. So if you want to know how to reverse a break up work hard and take the time to gain that person's trust back.

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Dating For Teenagers - Tips For Keeping Them Safe

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Oh crap, you thought getting through toddler hood would be a challenge and now you have to face the issues of dating for teenagers.  Trying to figure out what you can do to help keep them safe during this tumultuous time is every parents number one concern.  With so many new things to worry about such as violence, drugs, alcohol, date rape, etc, there is a lot to consider. 

While I can't guarantee a safe passage for your teen, I can provide some useful hints and tips so that you can help them safely navigate this time in their life.  One of the best things you can do for yourself and your teen is to discuss, early and often, what your rules are in regards to dating.  This can include the age you think they should start dating, where they will be allowed to go and with whom, curfews, etc.  Going over this even before your teen is allowed to date may help alleviate a little of the inevitable arguments about this subject.

Many parents find that they like to ease their teen into dating situations slowly, by suggesting group dates as the first step.  This can allow your teen the ability to have some fun with their friends and be a little independent without totally cutting them off from their support system.

Make sure that not only does your teen know their curfew but their date does as well. Also make the consequences of missing curfew known to your teen whether it's going to be a week of grounding or something else. Decide what, if any, activities will be allowed on school nights.  Many parents will allow their teen to go to school sponsored events such as sporting events, but will impose an earlier curfew. 

Allow your teen the opportunity to gain your trust. Slowly allow them a little more freedom and closely monitor their grades and how well they follow the rules.  If you feel they are showing a lot of responsibility it may be a good idea to let them have a little more freedom.  That's the only way they can prove that they can be trusted and it's the best way for you to show them that you do trust them.  Believe it or not, your kids really do want your trust and approval and they will try to please you.

No matter how uncomfortable you may feel about discussing sex, or addiction, now is the time to do it.  Your teen needs to know about the 'birds and the bees' and if you don't tell them their friends will... the problem is that their friends probably don't know what they're talking about.  Wouldn't you rather have it come from you? 

Make sure your teen also understands about the various types of abuse and what the warning signs are.  Don't just talk about physical or sexual abuse but also let them know about verbal abuse, this is probably more prevalent and easier to miss the warning signs.  Tell your teens that if their boyfriend/girlfriend is trying to control them by flirting with others, threatening to break up if they don't get their own way, trying to keep them isolated and cut them off from their friends, that these are all signs of abuse and your teen should be very cautious with that person.

I hope this advice on dating for teenagers has given you some good ideas on where to start. The bottom line is make sure your kid knows that you are their number one fan and that no matter what happens you love them and you'll be there for them.

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Teenage Relationship Abuse - Dont Let It Happen To Your Teen

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When it comes to an abusive relationship, the abuse can be manifested in many ways.� We often think only of physical or sexual abuse, but in reality things such as 'teasing' and mocking someone and constantly undermining a persons worth can also be classified as abusive.� When it comes to identifying signs of teenage relationship abuse it's even more important, as a parent, that we know what to be on the lookout for. Hopefully, you've shown your child that they can trust you with their problems so they'll be more likely to confide in you if something is going on, but the truth is that even if you and your child have good communication skills they still may be too uncomfortable to talk openly about the problem with you.� Knowing what to look for can help you identify a potential problem even if your teen isn't willing to talk about it. It's not uncommon for a teenage abuser to threaten to tarnish the reputation of their victim. With all the pressure to fit in when in high school, this can be a remarkably effective way for an abuser to keep his victim in line.� As a parent, this can be a nightmare scenario - your kid in trouble but unwilling to let you help. Here are some things you can keep an eye out for as they may indicate an abusive relationship: 1.� If your teen suddenly seems to be getting hurt a lot it could be a sign of trouble.� It's not uncommon for the victim of physical abuse to suddenly seem to have a lot of 'accidents' and become 'clumsy', but very often these bruises and cuts are signs that they are being physically abused and they are just too embarrassed to talk about it. 2.� One of the most common techniques that abusers use is to isolate their victim, they will force them to cut off ties with friends and family, since it is easier to victimize them if they don't have a support system.� If your teen suddenly loses interest in seeing their old friends or becomes even more reclusive around family, you may want to investigate further.� I know teens can be somewhat reclusive anyway when it comes to spending time with family, but if they seem to get worse suddenly especially after they start seeing someone new, it may be cause for concern. 3. If your teen suddenly starts getting poor grades or doesn't seem interested in the hobbies they used to enjoy, again, this could be a sign of some problem. No parent wants to think of their kid as being mistreated by anyone, that may be why it's so difficult for parents to grasp just how much of a problem teenage relationship abuse is becoming.� Just try to always keep open lines of communication with your child, and teach them to� trust their instincts, just as you should always trust yours.�� If you think that something is wrong with your kid and/or the person they are dating... it probably is.�
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SETTLING DISPUTES WITHOUT HURTING FEELINGS

 

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Regardless of how big or how small a family, disputes and misunderstanding will and may arise. Disputes can be on money matters; inheritance; ownership of property; on choices made; work; misunderstanding of a situation or words used; attitudes; family choices and relationships etc. Disputes may be settled between the parties concerned or may need a lawyer to settle it.

One must be very careful in mentioning or to say anything about the problem as it can aggravate the situation. A person must analyze and be honest with himself/herself about what caused the situation of the disputes. One must go to the root of the cause to be able to trace it. It is not easy to settle disputes as one is dealing with different attitudes; personalities; upbringing; and values. 

If the dispute is on relationships communication; self-awareness and honesty must be exercised. Both parties must do the steps separately so as settle the situation in a civilized manner.  Below you will find some steps or a sort of guide that may be of help:

a)  Pray -- for enlightenment of the situation; be honest with yourself; say words that will not hurt or blame.

 

b)  Go to the root of the dispute: Make a check list: write down all the possible causes that started the dispute; have a trusted friend or relative who is neutral to guide you. 

 

c)   then rank the most important causes -- that made the situation worse. In each rank write the possible attitude or reaction one did to make it worse. Write down what words were used. Make sure it is in the “I” person, not we or you. Write down beside that what you have to do to fix the situation.

 

d)   Set a date to communicate – have all the sincere notes you have made in your mind and heart.  Set a place where both of you will not get distracted and that will be conducive to both of you for clear and open communication.

 

e)  Listen and understand- The person must listen attentively to what is being said. There should be no interruptions from the other person. It may even be better if both of you agree to have someone mediate in your dispute. That person can give views that may inspire the both of you.

Ask if you can take down notes of what is being said to clarify the matters being said so no misunderstanding will occur.  Stay on the topic and don’t beat around the bush. Be careful with the words used. Words can hurt and can aggravate the situation. Listen and understand with compassion. When expressing your explanation don’t get irritated or angry. Talk calmly. Never point a finger at the person.  Anger may arise in the course of the explanation but try to remain calm. Remember the other is hurting too, but with compassion and reassurance the situation can be improved. Your partner may calm down when he/she sees that you are calm and controlled.

 

f)    Give suggestions on how to fix dispute – after the exchange of enlightened matters see how both of you can settle the issue by looking at the notes each one has made and have an exchange of loving solutions to improve and settle the matter. The suggestions to solve the dispute must be sincere and must be practiced.

 

If one has settled the dispute the feeling of peace in one’s heart radiates and it shows in the person’s face and personality and will make you a better person.

 

Creating long lasting relationships is not always easy. It can sometimes require a lot of work and effort that takes the form of compromise and understanding. Be willing to give and be patient with your loved one. Accept the fact that you are individuals that may not always agree. Sometimes you may have to agree to disagree. But try to find a loving and compassionate way to do that. This is how you build a lasting relationship.

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Teenage Domestic Violence - 3 Tips To Keep Your Kid Safe

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No matter how difficult it is to face, all parents need to understand that  teenage domestic violence and dating violence are very real issues.  To many of us, it seems inconceivable that this has become such a widespread problem, but whether we can understand it or not, it's up to us to help protect our kids from this frightening reality.

When it comes to keeping our kids safe there is no magic formula that is guaranteed to work 100% of the time.  There is, however, a simple thing that can be done that will significantly increase the chances that your kids will grow up to be smart, healthy and safe.  What is that simple thing?  You.  Don't ever let your own doubts and fears get transferred onto your child (easier said than done sometimes).  Let your kids know that they can trust you and that they can come to you and talk with you about anything.  This is vitally important. If you prove to your kids throughout their lives that they can talk to you and you will listen, you've gone a long way to help keep them safe.

That's not to say that you won't get upset or angry with them, but if you teach them to make good decisions and what is right and wrong than they'll have a much better chance of avoiding these dangerous situations in the first place. Another thing to keep in mind is to let your kids understand tolerance.  I've seen it happen too often that parents were trying so hard to instill good moral values in their kids that they just came across as  judgmental and intolerant.  Be very careful how you go about teaching your kids what is right and wrong so you don't send the message that hatred and intolerance will somehow make them superior.

Here are some other helpful tips to keep your kids safe when they start dating:

1. Talk to your kids about what is appropriate behavior and what isn't before they start dating. Let them know that excessive 'teasing' or possessiveness are signs of trouble and if they meet someone who does that they should stay clear.

2. Even with the best prep it might happen that your kid is being abused by their boyfriend/girlfriend and won't tell you.  It's up to you to keep your eyes open. If your child suddenly starts getting 'accident prone' after dating someone new, it's time to get involved.  More than one person has been hit by their significant other and claimed they walked into a door. 

3. If you have any suspicions that your teen is involved in an abusive relationship it's time to take action.  Make sure that your child does not come into contact with the abuser, if that means sending your kid away to live with their aunt than so be it.  It's also time to contact the authorities and file charges.  If your kid is still 'in love' with their abuser you need to get them into counseling ASAP, if not this pattern will likely keep playing out throughout their whole life.

Teenage domestic violence is an all too real threat to your teen today.  Being proactive and instilling a strong sense of self confidence in your child from a young age are two of the best things you can do to protect your kids, not only from violence but from many other dangers as well.

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